At the exact moment I lied I remembered that I was dealing with Little Miss Sherlock Holmes. After all, she was Daphne from Scooby Doo one year for Halloween;. she has the credentials. She was determined to piece this mystery together.
After 10 minutes of non stop interrogation from her I caved. I am a tough mama, but honestly I was a little afraid she was going to move on to torture tactics. After all, she has a little brother; she has the credentials. So, I confessed. I gave her the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I explained to her WHY I did what I did. She took it all in and began to process this information with a silence that scared the crap out of me; I just knew she was deciding my punishment during that silence. What she said next was all it took for me to learn my lesson. What she told me I will carry in my heart for the rest of my life:
She said, "You know when you tell a lie the universe knows and you will be found out. You cannot escape a lie." Whoa, when did she become so philosophical? She then proceeded to say, "Plus you are my mom; I trust you, I need you, so you can't lie to me ever again". I told you she was trained in torture tactics. I think it would have felt better had she physically ripped my heart out or knocked the wind out of me with a sucker punch.
I learned two very important lessons that night. 1. I cannot fix her. I cannot stop her worry, I cannot control her anxiety, I cannot make the pain of what she deals with on daily basis go away. I can, however, give her the tools (and the truths) she needs to work through her worry, anxiety, and stress. 2. Never! Ever! Never! lie to a girl who watches Scooby Doo, reads mysteries, and has a little brother.
She is my daughter; she trusts me, I need her, and I can't lie to her ever again. That is the universal truth.