***
"Mom, why do you always get to be the boss"? ~Audrey
***
Audrey: It would not be a very good idea to take a giraffe to the movies.
Ian: Why?
Mom to Ian: No one could see over his head
Ian: Ohhhhhh Yeah.
Audrey: But, we could sing him a lulluby and then he'd lay down and go to sleep
and everyone could see the movie.
Ian: But, we'd have to sing a very soft lullaby because we have to be very quiet
in the movie theater, right mom.
***
Ian: When I was a little tiny baby I used to live in your belly.
Mom: Yes you did
Ian: But how do you get babies out of mommy's bellies?
Mom: Well, you go to the doctors and they have special tools.
Ian: Does it hurt when they use their special tools?
Mom: Ian, LOOK CANDY!!! Want some!!
***
"I wish I could be lightening so I could be very powerful" ~Audrey after learning what lightening can do
"Mom, can you find me the air pump I need to blow some stuff up" ~Ian
Mom: Audrey stop whining and get ready for school
Audrey: WELL YOU ARE THE REASON I ALWAYS WHINE ALL THE TIME!
"You always make me want to throw up when you don't let me have what I want" ~Audrey
"Mom, you have to look at this with your eyes closed" ~Audrey
***
Audrey: My face hurts.
Mom: Why?
Audrey: From all this trying to stop whining.
***
"Mom, you're as quick as a rattle snake trying to catch a squirrel" ~Audrey
"Let me look in the mirror and if it's not perfect you can re-do it" ~Audrey as mom is doing her hair
***
Ian: Mom, what happens when you mix dirt, sand, and water all together?
Mom: You get mud
Ian: Oh, so you mix dirt, sand, and water and you get mud...AWESOME
Mom: (to myself) why oh why oh why would I give him that formula????
***
"Ice cream is French for yogurt" ~Audrey
"Ian that is not true that is just something moms and dads always tell their children" ~Audrey
"My brain is twisted" ~Audrey explaining to Ian why she doesn't want to play anymore.
