Reflections

I stand before you exposed and vulnerable.  I wish you would turn out the lights or possibly dim them.  I see the way you look at me slowly from head to toe, side to side, your eyes moving slowly.  For a moment it seems to me that you don't recognize me; as though you're seeing me, the real me, for the first time.  For a fleeting moment I think you'll turn and run.  But, you don't run. You stay and look longingly at my features.

And, just when I think I will turn and run away from your gaze you reach out and touch my face.  I think to myself, please don't notice the lines around my eyes.  Your hand moves slowly down to my neck and I hope you are not seeing that my skin is no longer tight. I wonder, "can you love me as I am"?   I stretch long, knowing that this will erase what you're seeing.  Like a ballerina I raise my ams long above my head, touch my fingers together, and present myself long and graceful before you. I turn on my toes ever so slightly to show you my still curved profile.  You appreciate this; this stance erases stretch marks, elongates my once slender hips, and smoothens out the dimples on my legs.

I look deep into your eyes searching for what it is you really see before you.

Then I start to realize that something has changed in the way you see me.  You begin to whisper to me that these changes that had me wishing for darkness have actually made me beautiful again.  Still.  You see the woman before you who has aged with the wisdom that comes from learning the hard way.  You see my scars as evidence that I have fallen and picked myself back up.  You notice the lines around my eyes as proof that I didn't stay inside out of the light; that I got our there, turned my face to the sun, and let myself shine.  You caress my stomach, that is no longer flat,  and know that I have created new life.  You breath into my soul, "you are so beautiful from the inside out and I love you as you are".

Mirror Mirror on the wall, thank you for loving me as I am.

Conversations with my Little Peeps

Fruity Pops:

Audrey: If I had to choose a fruit that reminds me of Dad guess what it would be?
Me: I am afraid to guess
A: Mango
Me: Really? Why? (really, when will I learn to NOT ask this question)
A: Because mangos are kind of spicy.
Me: So Dad is spicy? (again, just stop while you're ahead already)
A: Well, no, but Dad is bad
Me: Dad is not a bad person he's a good guy.
A: You must not be talking about the same Dad who was swearing, yelling, and using "the finger" in traffic.
Me: Okay, I guess Dad is a mango. 
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Testing out patio furniture:

Ian: I really like this. We could put this out on our Paris.
Me: yes, we could turn our outside into Paris. I like that idea.
Ian: No, we can put this ON our Paris.
Me: You mean terrace?
All: LOL
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Mother's Day 2013 Card from Audrey:
Mother's Day Booklet from Audrey. Last page~ My Favorite Experience With My Mom:

"My mom is always there for me when I need her and need to find my courage."

And that my friends is all I will ever need to remember! *sniff*
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True Love:
Working on Audrey's Valentine's with her...

Me: If you wanted to marry "N" you could cuz he's a cutie
Audrey: No he's really smart
Me: Even better
Audrey: I'm going to marry "T"
Me: Oh is he really smart too?
Audrey: (with huge eyes and a grin) OH NO HE'S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!! 
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Mom: Audrey, did you give "N" a kiss for Valentine's Day?

Audrey: MOM!! Noooo!! But I wouldn't mind!
Mom: But only on the cheek right?
Audrey: Oh yeah, never on the lips because that is disgusting
Mom: Phew!

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Ian: Mom you CANNOT come in for career day as a Stay At Home Mom!
Audrey: Especially in those pants because they are so 2 years ago! 
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Ian upon entering the house last night after Cliff took him to urgent care: Ahhhh, my favorite music (I was playing Christmas music).
Ian: Daddy wouldn't let me listen to Christmas music in the car
Me: Well, did you ask him?
Ian: Yes, but he said no.
Me to Dad: Why didn't you let Ian listen to Christmas music when he asked you, you are so mean.
Cliff: He never asked me.
Me: Ian Michael...what's this I hear?
Ian: Laughing so hard he cannot stand himself!

I should mention my son LOVES any chance he can take to get Daddy in trouble!
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Ian air guitars on his knees across the kitchen floor:

Ian: OW OW OWWWWWW!
Audrey: IAN!!! OH, are you okay?
Ian: Yeah, I slid across the floor and scraped my knee.
Audrey: Well, don't do that!

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Me: Ian what kind of chips do you want with your sandwich?
Ian: Potato

That boy gives me so many epic face-palm moments!!

Me: IAN!!! COME TO THE DOOR SO I DON'T HAVE TO YELL!!
Ian: HuuuuuuuH!?!?
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Prison Camp:
Audrey:  Tomorrow is the day the world ends
Ian:  Yeah, tomorrow we meet our death

Oh for cry eye, drama queens it's DAY CAMP not Concentration Camp!
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Ian while brushing his teeth:  I'm going to need a bucket of water

Ian upon learning the truth about Santa:  Soooo...he's not really watching?  (he said that with a sparkle of mischief in his eye)


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This is my experiment gone wrong ~~Ian almost 8 years old
& Later:
This is what you call making it happen
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You can never have too much sparkle ~~Audrey 10 years old

This is more awesome than awesome ~~Audrey 10 years old

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As of Sunday, March 30, 2014

Stay tuned for what they'll come up with next...