"We're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B."

The title of this entry is from the movie Office Space; if you didn't already know that shame on you!  One of the funniest movies.  Ever.  But what I want to write about is no laughing matter!

Every two weeks we make the drive to Children's Hospital in D.C to the Psychiatric Department where our daughter is seen by one the BEST doctors who specializes in children with Post Traumatic Eating Disorder and everything that goes along with that.   Everything ranging from anxiety, depression, fear, and feeding trauma.

Three years ago when we started this "new normal" with our daughter, psychiatry was on the 2nd floor and her specialist was in the basement.  In the course of remodeling and adding new wings to the hospital psychiatry has moved to the basement and her specialist has gone from the basement, to the 4th floor with a view of all of D.C, to the 3rd floor with a nice view, to the basement with no light.  When discussing these changes with the doctor she said, "There is no money for our department and money talks".  The Diabetes Department now has the 3rd floor with a nice view.

The year is 2013, mental health is still NOT a priority in this country.  I don't want Diabetes research and treatment to receive less funding, I want to see psychiatry receive equal funding as diabetes and all other physical illnesses.  Mental health does NOT belong in the basement; both literally and figuratively speaking.  For years and years people have been taught to ignore their mental health, to hide their depression, to pull themselves up by the boot straps, to move those problems to storage B, so to speak.

We talk about cancer, diabetes, MS, CF, CP, with an urgency in research, cures, funding, and shedding light on the problems.  When we break a bone we get a cast, the world sees we are broken and we even get those casts signed.  When our psyches break there is no visible cast, no one signs their regards, there is no light shed on the problem.  We store those problems until we run out of hiding space.

It is just as important to heal our mental health as it is to cast a broken bone.  Mental health can be, and is, a matter of life or death.  Diabetes and cancer are a matter of life or death so why is mental health still being sent to the basement!!   If anything we need to move mental health to the top floor, the penthouse with the full views, with all of the natural light one can shed on the problem.

Mental health needs funding!  Mental health needs awareness!  Mental health needs to be a priority!  Basements are for storage and hiding unwanted boxes of clutter.  Basements are NOT for mental health.



(I am not editing this post; it just poured out from my heart and my anger, I am not going to make it have rhyme or reason today)

On my honor I will do my best

Long before I had a son, I vowed we would never participate in The Boy Scouts due to their open policies on anti-homosexuality and anti-atheist/agnostic beliefs.   I have said this before and I will say it again, "never say never".  

Tonight is sign ups for new cub scouts for the next school year.  Tonight we sign up our son.  Tonight we choose to put our own policies and beliefs aside so that our son can experience group activities with his peers, make new friends, become active in our community, and step outside of his comfort zone.  Tonight is the night we learn a new way to teach him to be respectful and tolerant of other's beliefs and lifestyles.  Tonight I may very well become the hypocrite I've fought hard not to be.  

I still do not support the policies or the belief system in place by the Scouts.   But, we do support the scout Law: A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.  All of those things we've taught both of our children and we did it without lifestyle or religious influence.  Because you can be all of those things for one simple reason, it's the right thing to do.   

We also have to do the right thing by our son:  let him experience many different things in order for him to find his way in this life.  It is our job to guide him, not make him be something or someone we want him to be.  At the ripe old age of seven he is already accepting of marriage equality, he questions the many theories of religion, and he knows right from wrong.  I cannot let my own internal struggle with the Scout's policies and my beliefs deter him from getting out there and learning.  He may just be the Scout who convinces the Scouts to accept every boy and leader regardless of lifestyle and religion.  Because that's what I've taught him and no one can  undo that!

On my honor I will do my best to parent my son into the right direction; not my direction but, his.  

What I really wanted to say was...

December 1, 2012

This week both of my kids were teased at school.  Neither incident was major.  My daughter, age 8, was taunted on the school bus by an older girl who was just a kid being a kid.  When my daughter stepped off the bus crying we immediately talked to the bus driver, situation was confronted, seats were changed and all was well.   My son, age 6, tripped in the lunchroom and fell...teasing followed.  Again, kids were just being kids...the situation was remedied and all was well.

How did I  handle each?  We asked questions about the situation, talked about what to do, worked through the feelings, tried to understand why other kids acted that way.  But what I really wanted to say was, "the next time something like that happens tell the other kids that if they don't shut their mouths you're going to shut it for them".  OH COME ON....if you are a parent and your child has been teased you can't tell me that the first thing you thought of was smacking the other child around a little bit.  And no, I didn't tell my kids to do that.

We live in a society where bullying in any form is totally unacceptable and responsible parents are using new tools to teach their children how to handle the situations they are confronted with in a non-violent way.  And I, being one of those responsible parents, am following suit.  So, I told my children to ask themselves if they really are those names the other kids called them?  How did they feel and what can they do to remedy the problem?  I asked all the right questions to get them to work it through, I was Mother-Gandhi, we reached a peaceful solution and did not resort to violence.  

What I really wanted to say was left unsaid.  I left their innocent, peaceful, critical thinking, Gandhi like souls in tact.  For now!  :-)

Lots of Pain, No Gain

Today was supposed to be Day 30 of my 30-day run challenge.  I didn't make it.  I got to day six and then spent a little over two weeks in a shit ton of pain.  My knees, (one worse than the other), my heels, my feet, and my legs couldn't take it.  Some might say I quit or that I failed.  Maybe.  But I think listening to my body and acknowledging that running may not be the sport for me was a success.  I, like so many women are stubborn and think that I can push through the pain.  Ignore the pain.  I couldn't.  I recognized that if I were to push through I'd do more damage than it was worth.  So maybe there was a lot of gain.  I learned to listen to my body and accept my limitations.   Because I am so stubborn I'll never admit defeat.

So running is not for me.  I will stick to walking...no pain and lots to gain!

Day 6/30 "Runner's Block = Writer's Block"

September 30, 2012 Day 6

I couldn't run today.  I mean, sure I *could* have but my knees are "pulling", my ankles are stiff, my feet are in pain, and the pain up my leg from all of that is not fun.  We took the kids and the dog to the park for a couple of hours instead.

I've got nothin'.  Apparently running/pathetic jogging/walking with a mission opens up my head to writing.

I had not intended for today to be a day of rest but, unless I want to turn this 30-Day Challenge into a "stumbling block" I better listen to my body and know when to rest.

Day 5/30 "Runners are Two Faced and Progress"

September 29, 2012 Day 5

Did you ever notice that runners are two-faced?  Take a look sometime.  There is the face before a run which is equal to the face after a run.  It's the face of "I can do this", "I'm a rock star", and "I did it, I'm so awesome".  Then there's the other face, the in the middle of the run face where the runner's face is fifty shades of messed up.  (I had to get a Christian Grey tag in there somehow).  I call this face a border line between ecstasy and death.  It is the face of feeling like you're kicking some ass and the feeling of some ass kicking you.  In the face.  For the more seasoned runners they have, more often than not, the face of ecstasy.  For the novice like myself it's definitely death...warmed over...kicked in the face...dying...DEAD!

The other day my husband passed me on his way to work.  Later that day he said, "You looked really good out there".

OH MY GAWD, he's a necrophiliac.  But he promised me new shoes so I'm going to roll with that!

In other "I can do this" and "rock star" news, I shaved 5 minutes off my route this morning.  I didn't feel like I was doing better but apparently I did.

So, in your face...I did it, I'm so awesome!

Day 4/30 "A Day of Rest"

September 28, 2012 Day 4

I didn't choose today for my day of rest.  My pushers chose it for me.  I have a pusher-theory about this day of rest.  See, they want you to go out so many times and then stop.  They say so your muscles will rest and your body & mind can recover.  Hmmmm, I think it's because when you take a day to rest you think about your next running fix, getting back out there, seeing how much farther you can go before you feel that "runner's high".  Drug dealers reincarnated into runners, I'm telling you this HAS to be true!!  And...well, it's working.

Mentally I am ready to get back out on the pavement.  Physically I know I need to rest.

Now, if you'll excuse me I have a hot date with my husband and he promised me new running shoes!!