Friday, August 30, 2013

Universal Truths

The other night I did something incredibly stupid.  Something that I never do.   I lied to my daughter.  It was a lie meant to protect her.  She was worrying about something and I lied about the chain of events in order to have her not worry one minute longer.  Incredibly stupid I tell you.  In my defense I was EXHAUSTED!  I was frustrated that she, beyond her control, worries about every little thing.  I just wanted to fix her; make it all right.  So I lied.

At the exact moment I lied I remembered that I was dealing with Little Miss Sherlock Holmes. After all,  she was Daphne from Scooby Doo one year for Halloween;. she has the credentials.   She was determined to piece this mystery together.  

After 10 minutes of non stop interrogation from her I caved.  I am a tough mama, but honestly I was a little afraid she was going to move on to torture tactics.   After all, she has a little brother; she has the credentials.  So, I confessed.  I gave her the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  I explained to her WHY I did what I did.  She took it all in and began to process this information with a silence that scared the crap out of me; I just knew she was deciding my punishment during that silence.  What she said next was all it took for me to learn my lesson.  What she told me I will carry in my heart for the rest of my life:

She said, "You know when you tell a lie the universe knows and you will be found out.  You cannot escape a lie."  Whoa, when did she become so philosophical?  She then proceeded to say, "Plus you are my mom; I trust you, I need you, so you can't lie to me ever again".  I told you she was trained in torture tactics.  I think it would have felt better had she physically ripped my heart out or knocked the wind out of me with a sucker punch.  

I learned two very important lessons that night.  1. I cannot fix her.  I cannot stop her worry, I cannot control her anxiety, I cannot make the pain of what she deals with on daily basis go away.  I can, however, give her the tools (and the truths) she needs to work through her worry, anxiety, and stress.  2. Never! Ever! Never!  lie to a girl who watches Scooby Doo, reads mysteries, and has a little brother.

She is my daughter; she trusts me,  I need her, and I can't lie to her ever again.  That is the universal truth.  

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