Monday, March 8, 2010

Kid Quotes II

"I don't want to grow up, I want to stay this tall". ~Ian November 2009

"I'm so gravitated"! ~Audrey trying to express how AGGRIVATED she was 2009

"Ya know mom different makes difference" ~Ian March 2010

"Because fancy is just too fashionable don't ya think" ~Audrey March 2010

"Mmmmm, I sure do love the smell of that stinky garbage" ~My little stinker March '10

"Don't do that anymore it's starting to hurt my brains" ~Ian 4yrs upon listening to mom quote "Mr. Brown Can Moo". (note he said brainS as if he has multiples, LOL)

"Spring break is my favorite thing to do in the Spring" ~Audrey 6yrs Spring 2010 (Mom & Dad hope that when she's 18 this is her LEAST FAVORITE thing to do)

"I'm always ready for a birthday party" ~Audrey March 2010 (Mom & Dad are seeing a party trend in her future...time to put her in the tower)

Mom: "Ian do you want to wear shorts so you are cooler"? Ian: "No, see my pants have a hole in them so the fresh air can come in and keep me cool that way" ~March 2010

"WOAH!, I'm gonna have to work on that trick"! ~Ian our resident stunt man 2010

"Ugh, there is bless you everywhere" ~Ian in response to his sneeze while trying to eat a mouthful of hummus (you can imagine) April 2010

An Exasperated Worn Out Mommy: "Ian I just can't win with you", Ian: "I know 'cause I'm too fast" ~Nothing like taking everything literally. (: April 2010

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Why? Because. That's Why!

Like many survivors who have lost loved ones to suicide I find myself asking the age-old question, "why"? Why did my brother choose to kill himself? The experts say 4 out of 5 suicides are the result of depression and/or mental illness. Trust me when I tell you when you lose a loved one to suicide you don't give a rat what the experts say. It will be 3 years this summer and I still ask "Why"? Only now I have the answer...


Because if my brother had lived he would not have given a professional football player muscle & tissue to repair his knee so he could go on to fulfill his dream.

Because if my brother had lived he would not have given over 15 people a second chance at life through his generous donation of tissue & organs.

Because if my brother had lived I would still not be speaking to our other brother.

Because if my brother had lived I would not have become a voice for suicide prevention.

Because if my brother had lived I would not have met some wonderful people who share this burden with me...2 of whom have become my best friends, rocks of support, confidants, understanding innocent bystanders of suicide. I love you Cris & Linda S.

Because if my brother had lived I wouldn't have listened to the words in the songs or felt the music that remind me of him.

Because if my brother had lived he would have lived another day to drink another drink to drive another drive that quite possibly could have taken out the lives of many.

Because. Because everything happens for a reason and his death was not in vain. A death that saves the lives of many is not in vain. Of course I'll always wonder where we'd be if he had lived. Of course I'll always wish for one more day to ask him questions that he left unanswered. Of course he was loved and is missed and will always be remembered. We can't go back, he didn't live he died. Why? Because. That's Why!

My brother's name is Lewis R. Shortsleeve and his life was worth something...his death is now worth more. RIP Lew.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

From Yearbook to Facebook

"Where will you be in 10 years"? That was usually the question of the day in school. The answer, "Raising farms, fighting mafia wars, writing parking tickets, publishing stories, and busting gems". Ambitious students ready to face the world and make their teacher's proud? Nope just a few wasted hours on facebook.

Or are they wasted? In elementary it was "will you be my friend, check yes or no", in middle school it was "why won't you be my friend what's wrong with me"?, and in highschool it was, well it was highschool and I guess having one good friend meant you were surviving those awful years! Flash forward almost 20 years later and it's "you have a friend request" to which you don't dare deny because that is breaking the unwritten facebook code of conduct. I met a woman in the library last week and the first thing I thought of was "oh are you on facebook~I'll friend you". Followed by an internal "LOL" and when we parted I sent her a little <3 sign which made my hand cramp into a frozen 3 shape, making me look like a gangster which definitely would have come in handy in Mafia Wars.

I didn't have many friends in school. For reasons I'll never fully understand and will just chalk it up to school was dumb. But on facebook I have over 200 friends and ironically most of them are from my hometown school. I've "friended" some and some have "friended" me. 20 years ago we probably would have "unfriended" them with a rumor or a label or anything else that would have been filed under school was dumb.

I realize now that I love most of these people who I haven't seen, heard from, heard of, or talked to since those days in the hall. I realize that we were the same in school; we grew up in the same small town, we had families that worked or farmed or stayed home, and we all wanted nothing more than to get out of that small town and out of that school. And most of us did. A few of us from that small town are closer now via the powers of facebook. We share so much and we care about each other. Some are lost childhood playmates, some are acquaintances, some have become BFFs, some I've deleted & blocked.
And so we write on each other's walls as we did in each other's yearbooks. We no longer look at our yearbooks and wonder what happened to our LYLAS friend (for those who did not grow up in the 80s that would be Love Ya Like a Sister now it's BFF) as we now come to facebook and see when the last time said LYLAS friend peed.

No, I don't think facebook is a waste of time. I've not only reconnected with old and new, near and far, but I've formed some bonds that never would have lasted through 3rd period and I'm a better person and friend for it.

Oh and just for old time's sake...all of you who made fun of my family farming when I was a kid...who's got the bigger farm now? HA!