It’s September 8, 2009 and as I look outside my windows I see the leaves not only changing color but falling. My husband says to me, “Did the leaves change this early last year?” Honestly I can’t remember but I know that it seems Fall is officially upon us and yet I feel like it’s Spring.
Spring is a time of rebirth, of blossoms and blooms, of new beginnings.
This Fall my husband is taking a new job which will take us from our home in upstate NY where we are surrounded by trees, wildlife, and quiet country living to the hustle & bustle of MD where I doubt we’ll be graced each morning by the wildlife that stops by to entertain the kids. He has faced this change with more certainty than any man I’ve ever known and has struggled through those rough uncertain times with more courage than I could have shown.
This Fall my first born starts Kindergarten. I know my tears will fall faster than the leaves. I am both excited and anxious for her as I send her out on her own for the first time. Yes, I know she won’t be alone but she will be with out me and trust me when I say there is nothing lonelier than not having your Mother there for you. Or maybe I should say that after 5 years I fear there will be nothing lonelier than not having my daughter there for me. She has blossomed into a beautiful 5 year old full of not so beautiful attitude…but it is with the strength of that attitude that I hope she carries herself through school, life, and change.
This Fall my baby bear starts Preschool. He is so excited and full of curiosity and wonder. I have been through this before with the first born so it is with great excitement (and maybe a little anticipation of my alone time) that I send him off to learn to write his name, recognize his letters, and have the opportunity to make new friends. I know he will miss me just enough and my hope is for extra snuggles on these upcoming crisp fall mornings and cooler nights.
So it is with all of these changes happening and to come this Fall that I feel Spring in my soul. A season of new beginnings. Yes it does seem that every year the leaves change earlier than the previous year, maybe because we find ourselves so caught up in change that we forget to slow down and enjoy the moments that are and the moments that were.