Today my preschooler was invited to a birthday party for "Just the Guys". This had his older sister singing the Birthday Blues. She didn't understand why she was not invited. According to her all I had to do was call them up, explain that she was Ian's sister, and she'd be welcomed.
Cue the "It's not fair" soundtrack. Play the "why" broken record. Tears...don't forget the tears. My god, the Not Fair Tears!!
In my exhausted state of mind I wanted to tell her to shut it, that life wasn't fair, shit happens, and get over it. But while I thought those evil thoughts I would never let them be voiced. Instead I started with "Let's talk about this without attitude". I was telling her that but I knew I had to check my own attitude as well.
I realize that it's a hard habit to break. The two of them going everywhere together, doing everything together, sharing friends, and sharing birthday parties. They've been each other's best friends and party-going-companions for 5 years. I think this is a valuable lesson of independence and realizing that his/her friends don't mean our friends. No, it's not fair and sadly it won't be the first rejection either of them feels as they go through school making their very own friends.
I have to admit (though, never to my kids) that for a split second I knew how easy it would be to get Audrey "in". But where's the lesson in that. So for now she will have to sing the birthday blues. Sorry kid, sometimes life just isn't fair so get over it. (There I said it...quietly)